For many Earth years, our idea of aliens has always been one
populated by little, green, amphibious creatures who look cute on the
outside, but are secretly trying to end the human race as we know it.
But recent research suggests that if there is intelligent life on other
planets, they may be roughly the size and weight of a vending machine.
It's a strange theory for sure, but when you hear the science behind it,
it makes the "little green men" myth seem kind of silly.
This is pretty much our idea of an alien. Small, green, cute, BUT WRONG!
Small enough to worship the claw machine at an arcade as their god.
A new paper by cosmologist Fergus Simpson suggests that aliens might
actually be bigger than we think, weighing an average of 650 pounds or
more.
Good thing we made those extra-large hospital gowns.
The new theory originates from a mathematical model on energy
conservation that assumes that larger animals need more energy, and are
therefore rarer than smaller animals.
Because of the relative rarity of larger animals, this may explain why we have yet to make contact with intelligent beings.
Simpson says that there is a minimum size for intellect, and argues
that human beings might even be on the smaller side as far as sentient
beings go.
Just because they're sentient doesn't mean they won't rip out your arms if you beat them in dejarik.
Simpson would like to make it clear that this paper is just
speculation, and was mainly done out of fun. Also, it is not necessarily
our size that makes us the most intelligent beings on the planet. For
instance "polar bears are large but do not write great literature and
build radio towers," points out Simpson.
Still, it's a pretty fun
theory. I guess until the aliens come and conquer us, we'll never
really know if Simpson is right, and by then, it might not really
matter.
